Marriage is a Humiliation Ritual

Humiliation rituals are more than just cruel or uncomfortable moments—they’re structured practices designed to degrade, embarrass, or shame individuals or groups. Often disguised as tradition, discipline, or loyalty tests, these rituals can serve a range of purposes, from enforcing hierarchy to breaking someone’s spirit. But behind their many forms lies a common thread: control.

Let’s explore what humiliation rituals are, where they occur, their psychological consequences, and how they’ve been embedded in cultures throughout history.


What Is a Humiliation Ritual?

At its core, a humiliation ritual is a deliberate act meant to strip someone of dignity. It’s often used to:

  • Punish or discipline
  • Initiate someone into a group
  • Enforce conformity or obedience
  • Assert dominance or maintain a hierarchy

Unlike spontaneous bullying or random acts of cruelty, humiliation rituals are intentional and often repeated, normalized, or even institutionalized.


Common Settings for Humiliation Rituals

1. Hazing and Initiations
In some fraternities, military units, or sports teams, new members undergo degrading tasks or challenges to “prove” their worth. These rituals are often justified as bonding experiences but can veer into physical or emotional abuse.

2. Workplace and Institutional Abuse
Toxic corporate environments, cults, or authoritarian institutions may use public scolding, isolation, or humiliation tactics to reinforce submission and discourage dissent.

3. Public Shaming
Historically, punishments like the stocks or the pillory were designed to shame offenders in front of a crowd. Today, online “cancel culture” can act as a digital version—turning social media into a public square of judgment.

4. Interpersonal Abuse
In toxic relationships, one partner may humiliate the other—publicly or privately—as a way to maintain control. Over time, this can erode the victim’s sense of self and autonomy.

5. Religious or Cultural Practices
Some traditions incorporate elements of shame or public penance. For example, public acts of atonement or confession may be part of a ritual meant to humble the individual, though the intent can vary widely across cultures.


The Psychological Impact

Humiliation rituals can leave deep and lasting psychological scars. Common effects include:

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Loss of self-worth and identity
  • Learned submission or over-compliance
  • Long-term resentment or desire for revenge

Far from being “character-building,” these rituals often result in emotional damage that can take years to undo, if ever.


Historical and Cultural Examples

To understand how deeply rooted these rituals are, consider these examples:

  • Roman Triumphs: Victorious generals paraded defeated enemies through the streets in chains—a celebration for some, a ritual humiliation for others.
  • The Scarlet Letter: Nathaniel Hawthorne’s fictional tale of a woman forced to wear a red “A” for adultery was based on real practices of public shaming in Puritan society.
  • Military “Blanket Parties”: In some armed forces, this form of hazing involves physically attacking a fellow soldier under a blanket—used as punishment or discipline.
  • Marital Dynamics: In some relationships, rituals of humiliation (verbal belittling, forced apologies, or denial of dignity) become regular tools of power and control.

A Deeper Look: Marriage and Relationships

Humiliation doesn’t always come with ceremony. In relationships, especially abusive ones, humiliation can be a daily ritual. Name-calling, gaslighting, or being ridiculed in front of others are all methods abusers use to chip away at a partner’s confidence. These patterns don’t just harm—they isolate, condition, and control.


Final Thoughts

Humiliation rituals are often hidden in plain sight—wrapped in tradition, disguised as discipline, or justified as character tests. But their effects are real and often deeply harmful.

Recognizing these patterns, whether in historical analysis or daily life, is a first step toward breaking them. Whether in institutions, relationships, or online spaces, we need to question traditions that thrive on shame and start building cultures rooted in respect.


You Deserve Better Podcast Lessons

In a world where settling for less often seems like the easier path, it’s time to challenge the status quo and embrace the abundant life you are destined to live. Tune into my podcast as I dive into the “You Deserve Better” lesson series.  These shows will be your guide to breaking free from mediocrity and stepping into a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and success. These podcast lessons are inspired by the transformative book “You Deserve Better: Don’t Settle for Less,” which delves into the critical aspects of self-worth and personal growth, offering listeners the tools they need to transcend their current circumstances.

Recognize Your Inherent Value

One of the core themes of these podcast lessons is recognizing your inherent value. Too often, we find ourselves stuck in unfulfilling jobs or unhappy relationships, accepting the minimum when we should be striving for our maximum. The lessons will encourage you to recognize and demand the rewards you deserve, helping you to see your true worth and potential.

Overcome Fear and Attract Opportunities

Fear is a powerful barrier that holds many of us back from achieving our dreams. The “You Deserve Better” lessons will provide insightful discussions on how to identify and overcome fear, empowering you to be bold and step out of your comfort zone. By shifting your mindset, you can attract opportunities and create a life that aligns with your true desires.

Enhance Self-Awareness and Self-Appreciation

Self-awareness and self-appreciation are critical components of personal growth. Through engaging conversations and expert advice, the podcast lessons will help you enhance these qualities, enabling you to appreciate your unique strengths and capabilities. This newfound self-awareness will guide you in making decisions that align with your values and aspirations.

Transcend Mediocrity

It’s time to stop accepting the minimum and start achieving your maximum. The “You Deserve Better” podcast lessons will inspire you to transcend mediocrity and pursue excellence in every aspect of your life. By embracing a mindset that attracts opportunities and fosters growth, you can unlock your full potential and live a life that truly reflects your worth.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO LESSON 1

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your life. Tune into the “You Deserve Better” podcast lessons and start your journey towards a more fulfilling and rewarding future. Remember, you deserve better—don’t settle for less.

Successfully Navigating Life’s Storms

The best thing I learned this year was how to still enjoy my life during my storms.  As long as we have life, we will have problems.  Learning how to correctly deal with life’s problems is an invaluable tool that can save your mental and physical health.  Most people who are aware of my life’s trials often ask me, how do you do it?  In response to this inquiry, I would like to share 10 steps I have taken to manage life’s challenges.

1. Identify the Problem: I take time to clearly define what the problem is. Sometimes, just understanding the issue can make it seem more manageable.

2. Break It Down: I divide the problem into smaller, more manageable parts. This can make it easier to tackle and less overwhelming.

3. Prioritize: I determine which aspects of the problem need immediate attention and which can wait. This helps me focus my energy effectively.

4. Seek Support: I talk to friends, family, and professionals who can offer advice, support, or a different perspective on the issue.  I have found this very beneficial as the third party is able to see my situation from a different perspective.

5. Stay Positive: I work hard to maintain a positive attitude. This doesn’t mean ignoring the problem but rather I approach it with a mindset that solutions are possible.

6. Develop a Plan: I create a step-by-step plan to address the problem. Having a clear plan provides me with direction and reduced anxiety.

7. Take Action: I then start implementing my plan. Taking even small steps can build momentum and lead to progress.

8. Learn from Experience: I reflect on past problems and how I dealt with them. What worked? What didn’t? Using these insights to inform my current approach.

9. Practice Self-Care: I ensure I’m taking care of my physical and mental health. Exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate rest has improved my ability to handle stress.

10. Be Flexible: I am open to adjusting my plan as needed. Sometimes, unexpected challenges arise, and being adaptable has helped me navigate them more effectively.

It’s normal to encounter problems, and seeking help when needed is a sign of strength, not weakness.  My entire world has been turned upside down this year, and I’ve still found a reason to laugh and smile.  I realize that happiness isn’t found in the absence of hardships, but in the moments, we create within them.   It’s the little victories, the quiet strength to keep going, and the choice to hold on to hope when everything feels heavy.  It’s understanding that even amid uncertainty the heart can still find its way to joy.  

I’ve learned to embrace my journey, storms and all because it’s in those moments that I found my own resiliency and how life even when imperfect is worth cherishing. 

If you are weathering a storm, you don’t have to do it alone.  Schedule a one-on-one consultation so you too can learn how to correctly navigate life’s treacherous paths.