Watching my video about narcissistic mothers may have struck a chord with you, leaving you wondering if your mother is a narcissist. Although many people have narcissistic traits, they may not be a true narcissist. Take this quick assessment to find out.
Directions: Count how many of these traits your mother has, then read the results at the end to find out if your she is a narcissist.
1. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOUR MOTHER. She is ALWAYS the center of attention. Although she will NEVER share your success with you, she often brags about you to others to make her look good.
2. She loves drama and feeds off tragedy.
3. Gaslighting is her forte: LIES AND DENIES! Her cruelties are sly and subtle, and their cumulative effect is devastating. When you attempt to remind her of previous wrongdoings in an attempt to heal, she’ll flat out deny it ever happened.
4. She constantly belittles you overtly and subtly with a glance or tone of voice.
5. She is very sensitive to criticism, no matter how mild. She falls into a rage at the smallest provocation, even over simple requests like better treatment.
6. She is very critical and often uses snide comments and constant rundowns in her description of others.
7. She willfully and consistently ignores your boundaries on ALL levels: physical, mental, and emotional.
8. At times, she will ignore you as if you don’t matter, abandoning you as her irrelevant audience member.
9. She is very clever subtly, picking her moments of abuse so there are no witnesses, making it very hard to explain her behavior to others.
10. She publicly pretends to be a great mother, often telling you “I was so worried about you,” but her words lack sincerity.
11. She divides her children into two categories: golden children and scapegoats to conquer and control them.
12. She is envious of your success and will attempt to ruin your experiences to knock you off your “high horse.”
13. She is incapable of giving a genuine apology. She often says things like, “I’m sorry if you got upset” OR “You are too sensitive.”
14. She never accepts responsibility and will blame you for whatever happens.
15. She cannot accept your apology believing the one who’s been offended has the moral high ground and accepting an apology loses that. So, she’ll say things like “It’s too late, you’ve ruined it now.”
16. She lacks empathy, thus, she is unable to feel other people’s pain. Although she may say, “Oh, isn’t that terrible! You poor child,” there’s no genuine empathy behind her words. The emotion she displays is excitement as she feeds off the drama.
17. She observes and takes advantage of human emotion. An expert analyst of normal human behavior, she uses it to manipulate people.
18. Provocation is the tool she uses to hurt you so she can feed on your pain, thus, she is an energy vampire.
19. Selfishness is her middle name as she never gives without strings attached. Instead of monetary gifts, she often lends money, ensuring you are indebted to her.
20. The gifts she gives are intended to gain control over the recipient.
21. She cannot take “no” for an answer, often putting you in awkward situations. She finds a way to manipulate you into accepting her behavior. For example: She asks if she can bring a friend to your house, and you say NO. She arrives with the friend anyway, knowing you won’t ask the friend to leave.
22. She makes your bad situation her personal burden. For example, your ailment cannot compare to her trauma of being the loving mother of an ill daughter, therefore negating the severity of your ailment, thus shifting the focus to her.
23. From your childhood you were forced to deal with her negative behavior, which NEVER changes, regardless of how much time has passed.
24. She’s a bully who uses her narcissistic rage to cower and terrorize you.
25. She is neglectful and often requires her children to take care of themselves at a young age.
26. She often fails to protect you, allowing and/or encouraging others to hurt you, especially if you are the scapegoat. She has worked with your enemies to destroy your life.
27. She may physically abuse you using corporal punishment tactics as a form of discipline.
28. She is a master manipulator who uses underhanded tactics to get her way as she delights in throwing a rock and hiding her hand.
29. She gossips and slanders her children to their siblings to keep them divided one against the other, so she maintains control over everyone.
30. She is a DRAMA QUEEN who both creates and feeds off others’ dramas.
31. She is very demanding, and if you are unable to fulfill her requests, you will pay dearly.
32. She practiced ‘parentification’ as you often found yourself looking after her instead of her looking after you.
33. As her golden child, she infantile’d you, keeping you dependent on her so you would never leave her.
34. She’s sly and dishonest and has stolen items or money from you.
35. She sees no boundaries between you and her and often crosses the line.
36. She may project her own neurosis onto you. Often seeing and criticizing her shortcomings by placing them on you.
37. She’s very vain and thinks she is better and smarter than everyone around her.
38. She meddles in your relationships, fearing you may find happiness apart from her.
39. To maintain control in your life, she gossips about you to others, placing herself in the middle as the master manipulator.
40. She can be very rude to people she believes are beneath her.
41. She has an over-inflated sense of entitlement.
42. She categorizes people as being good or bad based on whether they agree with her or not. Her philosophy is, “If you agree with me, you’re good. If you don’t, you’re bad”. These categories are subject to change based on your choices. Although you were previously ‘good,’ once you disagree with her, you are immediately put into the ‘bad’ category.
Scoring: Count how many of these traits your mom possesses, then read the key below to find out if your mother is a narcissist.
0–7 — You are blessed to have been born to your mother. Her narcissistic traits are what make her look after you and take care of herself. She is loving and kind and has your best interest at heart. She wants the best for you and would NOT intentionally hurt you.
8- 20 — Your mother is strong-willed but is subject to change. The narcissistic qualities she possesses are in a healthy alignment, and your relationship with her is salvageable. I encourage you to talk about her narcissistic tendencies you dislike as she respects your right to question her behavior.
21–36 — Your mother is a narcissist, but she will NOT go out of her way to hurt you. In fact, she can be pleasant to be around if she is the center of attention and you do NOT challenge her. But tread lightly, as one wrong move can spoil everything! Dealing with her unpleasant side can be nerve-wrecking. The fact that you survived her narcissistic behavior proves how special you truly are. I would love to have the opportunity to talk to you. Schedule a FREE consultation TODAY!
37–42 — Your mom has reached full-blown psychopathy! She is cruel and inflicts unusual punishment on those who she feels have betrayed her. Lies spew out of her mouth like water off a duck’s back! She is a wrecking ball who will ruin your life if you grant her access to it. Your survival proves you have a divine destiny. It is time you surrounded yourself with others who appreciate your innate abilities. Schedule a free consultation TODAY!