Marriage is a Humiliation Ritual

Humiliation rituals are more than just cruel or uncomfortable moments—they’re structured practices designed to degrade, embarrass, or shame individuals or groups. Often disguised as tradition, discipline, or loyalty tests, these rituals can serve a range of purposes, from enforcing hierarchy to breaking someone’s spirit. But behind their many forms lies a common thread: control.

Let’s explore what humiliation rituals are, where they occur, their psychological consequences, and how they’ve been embedded in cultures throughout history.


What Is a Humiliation Ritual?

At its core, a humiliation ritual is a deliberate act meant to strip someone of dignity. It’s often used to:

  • Punish or discipline
  • Initiate someone into a group
  • Enforce conformity or obedience
  • Assert dominance or maintain a hierarchy

Unlike spontaneous bullying or random acts of cruelty, humiliation rituals are intentional and often repeated, normalized, or even institutionalized.


Common Settings for Humiliation Rituals

1. Hazing and Initiations
In some fraternities, military units, or sports teams, new members undergo degrading tasks or challenges to “prove” their worth. These rituals are often justified as bonding experiences but can veer into physical or emotional abuse.

2. Workplace and Institutional Abuse
Toxic corporate environments, cults, or authoritarian institutions may use public scolding, isolation, or humiliation tactics to reinforce submission and discourage dissent.

3. Public Shaming
Historically, punishments like the stocks or the pillory were designed to shame offenders in front of a crowd. Today, online “cancel culture” can act as a digital version—turning social media into a public square of judgment.

4. Interpersonal Abuse
In toxic relationships, one partner may humiliate the other—publicly or privately—as a way to maintain control. Over time, this can erode the victim’s sense of self and autonomy.

5. Religious or Cultural Practices
Some traditions incorporate elements of shame or public penance. For example, public acts of atonement or confession may be part of a ritual meant to humble the individual, though the intent can vary widely across cultures.


The Psychological Impact

Humiliation rituals can leave deep and lasting psychological scars. Common effects include:

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Loss of self-worth and identity
  • Learned submission or over-compliance
  • Long-term resentment or desire for revenge

Far from being “character-building,” these rituals often result in emotional damage that can take years to undo, if ever.


Historical and Cultural Examples

To understand how deeply rooted these rituals are, consider these examples:

  • Roman Triumphs: Victorious generals paraded defeated enemies through the streets in chains—a celebration for some, a ritual humiliation for others.
  • The Scarlet Letter: Nathaniel Hawthorne’s fictional tale of a woman forced to wear a red “A” for adultery was based on real practices of public shaming in Puritan society.
  • Military “Blanket Parties”: In some armed forces, this form of hazing involves physically attacking a fellow soldier under a blanket—used as punishment or discipline.
  • Marital Dynamics: In some relationships, rituals of humiliation (verbal belittling, forced apologies, or denial of dignity) become regular tools of power and control.

A Deeper Look: Marriage and Relationships

Humiliation doesn’t always come with ceremony. In relationships, especially abusive ones, humiliation can be a daily ritual. Name-calling, gaslighting, or being ridiculed in front of others are all methods abusers use to chip away at a partner’s confidence. These patterns don’t just harm—they isolate, condition, and control.


Final Thoughts

Humiliation rituals are often hidden in plain sight—wrapped in tradition, disguised as discipline, or justified as character tests. But their effects are real and often deeply harmful.

Recognizing these patterns, whether in historical analysis or daily life, is a first step toward breaking them. Whether in institutions, relationships, or online spaces, we need to question traditions that thrive on shame and start building cultures rooted in respect.


Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: The Narcissistic Husband

As the scapegoat of a narcissistic parent, I unknowingly attracted parasitic friends and lovers into my life.  To my surprise, my prince charming, who love bombed me in the initial stages of our manipulationship, turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  I quickly found myself trapped in a cycle of idealize, devalue, and discard.  Lost in the upheaval of emotional and psychological abuse bestowed upon me by a man who I initially believed was my happily ever after left me empty. 

I, the perfect victim, blinded by my need for approval and acceptance that I never received during my childhood.  So lost in fact that I did not see ALL the red flags that are now so blatantly obvious as I look back on my 23 year prison sentence I termed a marriage.  I was conditioned for eternal abuse at the hands of the person I thought I loved.

WHAT changed THE COURSE OF MY LIFE?

My two daughters, wise beyond their years, can be credited with freeing me from my cell.  They told me my soon to be ex husband was in fact a narcissist.  Like ice cold water running down a dry throat in a scorching desert, my youngest daughter’s words breathed life into my fatigued soul when she said, “Mommy, you deserve better.”  It put me on a quest to find out the truth about the man I had devoted the rest of my life to.  And this truth I found altered my future, as I have now separated from my estranged husband.

A relationship that began with a whirlwind of gifts, affection, and love bombing soon left me confused, as I found myself yoked to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  Learning that the man I fell in love with never existed was soul shattering.  To assist other scapegoats from making the same mistake, I am going to share 10 characteristics of a narcissistic partner.

10 SIGNS OF A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER

1.      Constant need for admiration and validation

When I lived with my ex, I had to be very careful what I said to him.  He wanted to be praised and admired all the time.  If I made a comment that he took as criticism, he would get very upset and start an argument.  So, I had to structure my sentences in such a way that I did not make him feel as if I were not showing him the utmost respect at all times in order to keep peace in our home.

2.      Lack of empathy towards others

He was a very selfish man who did not like to share or give to others.  I found pleasure in giving to others who were less fortunate, and he scolded me for doing so.  During the holidays, I often bought gifts for family members and put both of our names on them. He would never give to the homeless. In fact, he delighted in the suffering of family members and friends.

3.      Manipulative behavior to get what they want

He lied all the time.  From the first day I met him, this man lied about his occupation, his sexual encounters, and everything else he thought he needed to in order to trap me.  Throughout our marriage, I often caught him lying and taking things that didn’t belong to him.  As long as he thought he could get away with this behaviour, he felt empowered to do so.

4.      Grandiose sense of self-importance

This man believed he was the best looking person in the world.  He was extremely vain and loved showing off his muscles.  He had an over inflated ego that I found repugnant.  He lacked humility. 

5.      Difficulty accepting criticism or feedback

Any type of feedback directed at him fell on deaf ears.  He refused to listen to sound wisdom and guidance and often took advice as an assault against his perfection.

6.      Sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment

He thought he should have anything he wanted, regardless of the cost.  He wanted the best of everything and would never consider the financial obligation.  This led to excessive debts and unpaid bills. He purchased luxury cars and would take them to the car wash weekly. When he was there, he bossed around the workers commanding them to clean his car to perfection and would never leave a tip.

7.      Tendency to exploit others for personal gain

Deception empowered him to continue on his destructive path.  He found pleasure in deceiving others to get what he wanted.  He was a habitual liar, and he took pride in gaining the trust of others.

8.      Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships

He had very little friends and most of his family members avoided him.  He often blamed the other party for this, but as time went on, I realized he was the problem.

9.      Jealousy and possessiveness in relationships

He was very controlling and would not allow me to go anywhere without him.  He put trackers on my phone without my consent and often invaded my privacy by reading my emails, diary, and other personal literature to ensure I remained faithful to him.

10.  Inability to take responsibility for their actions

Every problem that occurred in our family was my fault. He never took responsibility for anything negative that happened in our home, even when we all knew it was his fault. 

As an adult, your home should be a peaceful sanctuary.  A place where you can escape the pressures of life.  When you live with a narcissistic spouse, life becomes very dull and harsh.  It is important that you recognize the characteristics of a narcissistic person early in your relationship, so you protect your life experience.

If you notice any of these signs in your significant other, I encourage you to do further research.  Narcissism is an incurable mental illness which leaves the partner of a narcissist in a lifetime of misery and regret. 

Rekindle the Love Ritual

Many people know that our ancestors used the moon cycles to track the seasons. Besides keeping up with the change in weather patterns, the moon was also used as an ancient tool to influence the energetic flow and vibrations in our reality. Sunday, February 9th, the Full Snow Moon will provide us a golden opportunity to fully express ourselves in our personal relationships.

This moon had several names by various indigenous American tribes including the Hunger moon, the Full hunger moon, the Storm Moon, and the Full Snow Moon. During this time of the year, many people found it hard to hunt for food especially when storms and heavy snowfall occurred. The difference in names was primarily because of the experiences each tribe had when this moon appeared in their part of the nation.

In 2020, this full moon will occur in Leo opposite the Sun in Aquarius. When the Sun is in Aquarius, it denotes a time for self-expression. When you can fully express yourself you can change lives, warm hearts, and build bridges to create long-lasting meaningful relationships. A full moon that is moving through Leo, will increase your desire to let others know how you feel. You’ll have the courage to tell others you love them and to express your appreciation for them. This energy will allow you to be open, honest, and vulnerable. Tapping into this energy will grant you the courage to experience the beauty of life.

As with all energy, it can be used for your benefit or to your detriment. Those who are ignorant of this cosmic influence may find themselves in sticky situations as they say things they may regret. Being too bold without spiritual guidance and discernment can lead to unwarranted arguments and more resentment in your relationship. However, knowing about this influence and working with it, can give you the boost you need to improve your love life.

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Whether you are in a marital relationship, are dating, or if you are interested in someone but have not been brave enough to tell them how you feel, you can benefit from this energy. To ensure all our members and subscribers can use this lunar energy for their own benefit, we have created a ritual that will eliminate sexual tensions and problems as it reignites the passion in your relationship. Its primary purpose is to improve loving relationships that have lost their fire and fun.

If you are interested in taking part in this ritual, you can visit our online store to purchase the instructions. Members receive a discount. Tapping into the energy of the Full Snow Moon will assist you in having the relationship you have dreamed of.